She lied

Diet? Diet my ass. Last time I checked, diets don't make a person gain 3-4 pounds in two days.

I am off her diet now, it probably works for larger people, but not me.

Today I stayed home from school, gonna write this damned dissertation if it kills me,

then off to the gym from 5-8 (spin class, weight training, yoga class), then back home, do my hair and nails for work, maybe work on physics

There is this thing in my skills group in therapy that we do called "describe" without interpretations (ie the person in the picture has blonde hair, smiling and has her hand in the air instead of the blond girl is happy and waving) and it is really hard to do, but i'm trying to do it with people when I think they are being mean to me on purpose and instead i use just the facts, and it helps a lot, which makes me feel better because it isn't always directed at me, so then I don't b/p or get bummed out,

I guess if you don't do DBT or have BPD, it doesn't make sense, but it will help with my weight.

fact: a binge has momentary satisfaction.

fact:the gym for 3 hours might feel unpleasant and long, but there is a chance you will be down a couple pounds tomorrow, which will make the day brighter and you're more likely to do well.

fact: I am going to stop blogging because I am postponing my dissertation again.

I might not blog this weekend, because I have university course selection,work all 3 nights and oodles more homework, so,

have a gooder! see y'all monday!

Queen of the Universe

I keep clicking on topics on pt to respond, then see her posts

and spend the rest of the time laughing at her

my gawd, she makes no sense

a huge bitch, but it makes me feel better about myself

that there is somebody out there who is as crazy and pathetic as her

hahaha

La vie n'est pas belle

My little brother didn't want to go to the gym with me today

so now I am not at the gym

I threw up the tacos they made me

Sharon is calling me an ass over and over again and calling me stupid and other horrible things

I have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, so

I am going to not talk for the rest of the night

Ignore her

and play the Sims

hopefully tomorrow will be better

I'm scared to know what I weigh

Day 1 + 2 of the 'diet'

Yesterday wasn't as much food as I thought she would make me eat, I started at 99+21 lbs (gross, please don't judge), had oatmeal (110) , chicken (110) salad +dressing (20), bit of salmon (50), more salad (20) for a total of 310 calories.

Then I worked for 4 hours. (heels + stairs + running around because it was mad busy= calories burned) The night before I had gone dancing for 3 hours in heels after working a bit too.

I'm not allowed to weigh myself today which sucks but whatever

Nikki and I are doing a plan: NO bingeing for 3 days and at least 1 hour of exercise and no weighing till it's done, nervous but we can do this!! <3 <3 <3

Gonna go to goodlife tonight and do a body pump class (weights and abs and what not) and then yoga for 75 mins with my little brother!

It started out as a crap day and a crap weekend, but has turned alright

Today for the diet I had oatmeal (110) and a peanut butter dill pickle sandwich (250?) (they were my favorite sammie as a kid) and for supper some type of seafood (dunno what it will be)

gotta get a bday prezzie for my man too, probably book on some animal person and a sexy little outfit, gosh I hope have enough money

Have a great night! <3 <3

Marcus proposed!!

It was amazingly cute, we went to the zoo

and he arranged a hippo seeing

and a private dinner

it

was

amazing!

APRIL FOOLS!!

hahh did I fool any of you?

Gosh I could not get married yet,

a) not until i'm 99 pounds

b) not until I finish uni

c) not until I am 21 at least, because my grandma would kill me

Speaking of her, she said she would pay for my gym membership and that of my baby brothers too if I follow her diet for a week (weight watchers type thing)

but it is around 900 calories a day, which scares me to death, and she will monitor my purging too

she will probably take away my scale for the week too

I went shopping today and got: a jean jacket, a flowery pencil skirt, a tank top, 2 bandeaus, a button down shirt, a silky shirt, a sexy bra+pantie combo and a bunch of rings, necklaces and a bangle all for UNDER 100$ what a great day

have a great weekend everybody!

Broth is my best friend

Veggie broth

Beef broth

Chicken broth

I love them all. They are my saviors.

I woke up at the same weight today, but I'm going to stay positive

yesterday i ate oatmeal (110) a chicken breast with spices (110) a bit of salsa (25) for a total of 245, which I am alright with

Today, I have eaten a banana (100) and my uncle is taking me to dinner at my (used to be) favorite italian restaurant. I am only going to have some lobster bisque (a soup type thing, 250 ish cals per cup) but not all of it! and a small slice of bread (if I'm forced) and tea and perhaps a bit of salad.

I got my grad pictures today. My cheeks look so fat and disgusting, my chin looks wide , my hair looks dry, I look oily, I could go on...

I'f I am not two pounds smaller by tomorrow, I will kill something.

I must lose those two pounds before my period comes! (which I think is soon, I'm so bad with figuring it out)

I have a massage today, went to the bank to talk about student loans and visas and tanned

I will NOT wreck this day with food!

going to go back and eat my broth now..mmmm broth.....

Do not read if you're sensitive

I need to get something out

and if you're sensitive about feelings and people

don't read this

I don'T want to cause any hate

or any drama, which is why I shall post here and not on PT

I despise fat people.

I hate seeing them eat, walk, talk, jiggle, everything,

They are fat and it makes me sick

I don'T care if they exersice every day

they are still fat and I cannot be around it

"oh, we need to be mindufl of feelings"

fuck that.

people on pt who are huge and want to lose weight,

go join a fucking gym, get off our site,

I dont think some of you are sick,

if you get offended by our postings

ummm...

its an ED site! as in we hate our bodies and fat

so just because you have more of it that I do,

is no reason to make all of us censor our fucking opinions

the world would be a better place if nobody was fat.

ah,

okay,

sorry about that, just needed to let it out.