During the full moon, we cry into the night sky

There is something I have realized. 

And it breaks my heart.

The sacrifices I have made to get to where I am,

I finally understand the consequences of these actions. 

I will get over it, or bury it deep inside, never to let these feeling rise again.

I was able to bury all my feelings of that sort once, but I was broken

And now, not as much.

To be a wolf is to be alone and aware, to be a sheep is to be happy and ignorant.

I wish I could be a sheep, but alas, 

I am a wolf, through and through. To argue with one's nature is to accept unhappiness as a way of life, until it is anchored into the very soul. 

I am a wolf. I will not have all-consuming happiness. Ever. 

I chose a different path, and I must live it. 

I am a wolf and I accept this. I may not like it, but I accept it, and the consequences and heartache it brings, as well as the joy and the independence. 

The lonely nights, crying myself to sleep, begin surrounded by people, but none who share in my wariness, none who share in my pain. 

I am a wolf. 

CJ

Dark clouds with a silver lining

Nothing like being down 5 pounds in a week because all I do is vomit blood. 

No energy, can't see, but I dropped weight and managed to keep my job and got paid. 

It's a good day and in want to keep it this way, because if I hit my first goal weight tomorrow,

Then the sky is the limit, 

I am finally back on track,

I will have a body I don't loathe entirely

To make up for a psyche I cannot stand.

CJ