The sun is shining and so shall I

Ladies and gents!

I am down 3 pounds.

.2 from my first weight goal.

I can feel and see my ribs and shoulder bones again

this is putting me in such a good mood for the weekend

even though it is snowing again

and I am in flip flops

but who cares, cos I am happy

lalalala

Have a fabulous weekend!

oh ps- food for thought (ahaha i hate that expression): Has globalization been positive or negative for large countries?Why or why not

pps- I need to remember to vote

Dear PTers

When somebody is bitching about somebody: fat/gross/mean/rude/icky/whatever

do not try to validate the bitchee's actions.

you idiots are the reason we can't vent on PT and why mods have to have sticks up their bums.

calm your whoremoans. Don't be heroic, you end up looking like trolly, bitchy cunts

:)

love CJ

ps- I bet if I post this on PT it gets taken down in a matter of minutes..

can't even keep down a turkey wiener and piece of broccoli anymore

this is getting ridiculous

The only thing that matters is Your love

Today I ate zero things. aside from a quarter of a beet and a chocolate bunny head (which I purged)

I have drank only water and went to a spin class and almost fainted

yay skinny

must lose a minimum of three pounds by thursday so I can wear my parliament skirt to parliament

I went shopping and everything was xs or s, which made me content

also, I am becoming such a sap. Which, if you don't really know me, won't be a big deal, but really, it is. I'm in such a 'i want to be a stay at home mom later and get married and go for family walks and play couples bridge' mindset, which I'm sure Marcus is sick of (not that I say these things, but just the me talking about the future so much ) and I don't blame him.

I better be down at least a pound tomorrow!

ps- I have been reading all your blogs, but I just haven't commented lately, because I am at a loss of words lately. I do still care, and when I get my head out of my bum, I'll start commenting again :)

Dear Lord, have mercy on us

Sorry I have not posted in a while, things have been hectic in my life

ummmmm

I've been thinking a lot

I hate when people get better

I want to be sicker in every sense of the word

I fail at being religious

Why can't I see my collar bones

My teeth are kind of wiggly

Why do I chose food over relationships

I'll never be stick thin in time for school in the fall, let alone summer

My thoughts revolve around food, boyfriend and school, in that order

My grandma wants to start a diet (like 500 cals a day) type thing so I said I would do it with her.

Going to try not purge every day, or only once a day

also going to walk once a day to tanning

also I want to stop therapy

Have a great Easter, God Bless, may his favour and forgiveness rain down upon us all from the heavens for all our sins. Amen.

Some things never change

"omg hiii, lets grab coffee when im in town"

"its been two years since we've talked"

"ohemgee all the more reason!"

ya, when you and all my other "friends" get together in january (and summer. and reading week. and reading week before that. and..) for numerous chill hangout nights to catch up and shit and dont invite me, you REALLY think I want to talk to any of you fucking bitches again? where were you cunts when I was having issues? oh ya "we are trying to enjoy our university experience and you're wrecking it with your drama and issues." but now that I'm going to uni we're suddenly BFF again? ya, I don't fucking think so

lalalalala

in other news

I have nothing new to report. I'm destined to stay fat forever and my face no longer wishes to tan

peace out

too much effort

Screw making a new blog,

if whoever wants to creep it

that is their business

so,

I have purged at least 4 times every day recently

my therapist got an ED clinic person to come

and she was fat.

(i mean normal people standards fat, not just mine)

but lalalala down 4 pounds since monday,

slow and steady wins the race

99+18 by monday

ps-CONGRATS NIKKI ON BEING FABULOUS + CATCHING UP TO ME

you skinny bitch <3

umm in other news, getting my nose pierced tomorrow and shopping with my man

have a fab weekend everybody!

Look at this picture of me

"I am obviously over weight and don't have nice bones and am close to 160-180, but I'm going to post this picture of me anyway, and since mean comments on PT will be get deleted or flagged, and nobody wants to hurt my feelings, everybody will tell me I am pretty, and I will feel loved and skinny!"

you're fat. Stop posting pictures to fish for compliments about your obviously extremely flawed body. everybody lies when they comment.

UGH. I am such a bitch but really, If I want to see chunky people thinking they're hot and all these fake posts about how pretty they are, I'll log onto Facebook.

Sorry about the rant.

Actually, no I'm not, you should all expect this by now,

don't like? don't read

:)

She lied

Diet? Diet my ass. Last time I checked, diets don't make a person gain 3-4 pounds in two days.

I am off her diet now, it probably works for larger people, but not me.

Today I stayed home from school, gonna write this damned dissertation if it kills me,

then off to the gym from 5-8 (spin class, weight training, yoga class), then back home, do my hair and nails for work, maybe work on physics

There is this thing in my skills group in therapy that we do called "describe" without interpretations (ie the person in the picture has blonde hair, smiling and has her hand in the air instead of the blond girl is happy and waving) and it is really hard to do, but i'm trying to do it with people when I think they are being mean to me on purpose and instead i use just the facts, and it helps a lot, which makes me feel better because it isn't always directed at me, so then I don't b/p or get bummed out,

I guess if you don't do DBT or have BPD, it doesn't make sense, but it will help with my weight.

fact: a binge has momentary satisfaction.

fact:the gym for 3 hours might feel unpleasant and long, but there is a chance you will be down a couple pounds tomorrow, which will make the day brighter and you're more likely to do well.

fact: I am going to stop blogging because I am postponing my dissertation again.

I might not blog this weekend, because I have university course selection,work all 3 nights and oodles more homework, so,

have a gooder! see y'all monday!

Queen of the Universe

I keep clicking on topics on pt to respond, then see her posts

and spend the rest of the time laughing at her

my gawd, she makes no sense

a huge bitch, but it makes me feel better about myself

that there is somebody out there who is as crazy and pathetic as her

hahaha

La vie n'est pas belle

My little brother didn't want to go to the gym with me today

so now I am not at the gym

I threw up the tacos they made me

Sharon is calling me an ass over and over again and calling me stupid and other horrible things

I have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, so

I am going to not talk for the rest of the night

Ignore her

and play the Sims

hopefully tomorrow will be better

I'm scared to know what I weigh

Day 1 + 2 of the 'diet'

Yesterday wasn't as much food as I thought she would make me eat, I started at 99+21 lbs (gross, please don't judge), had oatmeal (110) , chicken (110) salad +dressing (20), bit of salmon (50), more salad (20) for a total of 310 calories.

Then I worked for 4 hours. (heels + stairs + running around because it was mad busy= calories burned) The night before I had gone dancing for 3 hours in heels after working a bit too.

I'm not allowed to weigh myself today which sucks but whatever

Nikki and I are doing a plan: NO bingeing for 3 days and at least 1 hour of exercise and no weighing till it's done, nervous but we can do this!! <3 <3 <3

Gonna go to goodlife tonight and do a body pump class (weights and abs and what not) and then yoga for 75 mins with my little brother!

It started out as a crap day and a crap weekend, but has turned alright

Today for the diet I had oatmeal (110) and a peanut butter dill pickle sandwich (250?) (they were my favorite sammie as a kid) and for supper some type of seafood (dunno what it will be)

gotta get a bday prezzie for my man too, probably book on some animal person and a sexy little outfit, gosh I hope have enough money

Have a great night! <3 <3

Marcus proposed!!

It was amazingly cute, we went to the zoo

and he arranged a hippo seeing

and a private dinner

it

was

amazing!

APRIL FOOLS!!

hahh did I fool any of you?

Gosh I could not get married yet,

a) not until i'm 99 pounds

b) not until I finish uni

c) not until I am 21 at least, because my grandma would kill me

Speaking of her, she said she would pay for my gym membership and that of my baby brothers too if I follow her diet for a week (weight watchers type thing)

but it is around 900 calories a day, which scares me to death, and she will monitor my purging too

she will probably take away my scale for the week too

I went shopping today and got: a jean jacket, a flowery pencil skirt, a tank top, 2 bandeaus, a button down shirt, a silky shirt, a sexy bra+pantie combo and a bunch of rings, necklaces and a bangle all for UNDER 100$ what a great day

have a great weekend everybody!