114.2

99+15.2

15 pounds to go

4 dropped since monday

pukeypuke

starvrystarve

walking for fashionweek is why i do this dumb shit

feels good to be back

Hello my name is CJ

I seem to be caring less and less about this bullshit

and I want to care more

but I am in such a great place in my life right now

that im like 'hey, ive got a bit, its not that bad'

who the fuck is this and where did my brain go

I need to start mentally breaking down again, self sabotaging everything except school

so that I start caring about my legs

and my ass

and the fat inside of my body

fuck I'm fucking pissed and I have no reason to be

So confused about all of this

who knows

I never blog anymore

I always feel like I am too busy

but really, I am just trying to not think about my weight and how repulsive I am

In my own place, I am in control of what I eat and when and there is no judgement

I am by no means getting better, and if I am, I don't want to be

I have no idea how much I will blog anymore, mainly because nobody reads this so I can't be bothered

I miss the good old days.

fuck

CJ

Just a day, just an ordinary day

Hey, sorry I haven't blogged in a while,

but I don't think anybody reads this anyway

I haven't purged in FOREVER

so I have been restricting and my weight slowly going down

I'll post more later, I can't be bothered to think this early in the morning

CJ