happy 21st

It is my 21st birthday.
I am fat
I am depressed
I am alone
There are only two things I want to do
And I can't do either of them
The one, because the person who I want here is not here
The second, due to the fact that same person is not here, but I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid
I already broke the one promise I said I wouldn't
So who really cares if I break the other one?
Nobody, because I am alone and he doesn't care anymore, because I made him not care.
I am sitting in my room crying on my birthday and Patrick is being so loud, I just want him and all his friends to shut the fuck up so I can sleep
I want to sleep forever.
I wish I could take back everything I said
But I know it would do no good
This was the right decision and I will have to live with it
Even if it kills me.