There she goes again

Salut mes amours!

Sorry for the disappearing off the face of the earth!

The past week I went snowboarding (SO sore from it) and had such an amazing time

hardly ate while I was there,

on top of the mountain, it was so peaceful and I felt like I could fly, nothing else mattered but the fresh powder...I sound like a space job, but really, it was exactly what I needed

I also suffered a couple day migraine, which means I didn't eat for a couple days,

woke up 3 pounds lighter, which isn't too shabby, going to keep this weight loss rolling, NO EXCUSES, SO sick of being a huge whale.

Also picking out my schedule for uni and it'S creating a bunch of riffs but I won't let it bring me down.

I can feel my hip bones, see my ribs a bit and my collar bones, which is fine, but not good enough at all.

Now that you have all sat on your bums and read this post, drop down and give me 20 situps and 15 jumping jacks! Hah, just kidding (but you should do it anyway)

I'll blog tomorrow too, promise! (going to start posting my intake too, gaah)

The little train that could

I would like to dedicate this post to three special people.

1) Gabby- Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. Thank you for reading my blog, for being my friend on pt and for keeping me sane on the interweb. Your comments and your blog posts make me realize I'm not alone and I can't give up because my world is bigger than just me.

2)Nikki- You are my stronghold in the real world. We don't talk about anything too in depth personal wise, and that makes me feel good, because I have to force myself to be cheery and positive, which in the end, saves me from myself and doing stupid things to myself. If we didn't text every day, I really don't know how I would have made it this far. That sounds a bit extreme, so sorry for that, but really, you give me supreme strength.

3)Marcus (alias)- Thank you for being my boyfriend. For finding me bleeding to death and overdosed when we only first started dating and saving my life. Thank you for putting up with my depression, my lost faith, my borderline personality disorder and the horrible words I throw at you. I'm glad that you are still here. I am aware your love is conditional and I don't want to lose you. You make me want to better myself and stay in school.

I've been such a debbie downer lately and I'm trying to find my footing and focus on the really important things in life such as exercise, Pokemon and getting better. Bear with me a little longer, I shall be back to my old self soon if I really focus on what matters.

I truly love you all, more than I can ever express in words and actions,

CJ

It's a beautiful lie

Double posting in one night: I suck.

I was sitting here and looked up a song on youtube I listened to a month ago

It made me cry and want to recover

It made me want to be beautiful

And realize that I'm beautiful

I listened to it not even five minutes ago

and i cried, but not for the same reasons

I want to be beautiful by being skinny

I want to be happy, I want to go to school

I want to finally graduate (two years late)

I want my family to be proud of me

I want a mother fucking hug.

Fuck you sad songs.

This is the song (CLICK IT)