it ends tonight

I feel so empty but so full

I have been crying for far too long

I am done being emotional

and a fat cow

I got the job and my student loans came through

so things are looking up

now to pass bio

but really,

I justwant to get payed so I can order those pills and get skinny andbe happy with my body

also,

I wonder if you'll ever read this again,

or if you really have wiped me out of your life

not a day, nor an hour goes by that I dont think of you

when will this torture end

I want to slit my wrists

I have a very sharp knife here

but I promised myself I wouldnt die until I was at least under 99 pounds,

because I dont want to die the fat chick

CJ