I am that girl

I am the bitch girlfriend.
I am the psycho friend.
I am the moody granddaughter.
I am the reason they all cry at night.

His best friend came over for a visit today. Best friend is permastoned. 
He knows I don't like it if I'm around when they get high but he stil did.
So I'm locked in our room, pissed out of my tree. I don't even want to talk to hum or be with him right now .
I want him to get rid of all his loser friends and get better ones. 
I want him to grow into a responsible adult I know he can be, because I need that from him.
But I'm petrified he won't.
So I will probably sabotage our relationship over the course of this year and beat him down until he either leaves or he succumbs to my wishes and becomes the person I want him to be. 

I'm so messed up.

CJ