I miss home

I feel like I am a huge nuisance to Marcus here

Nothing more

We don't go do things with other people, and maybe I am paranoid

but I get the feeling he is ashamed of me. I'm not sure

I want to be back home, where somebody will ask me how my day was and actually care and listen

and when I ask the same question, I get a detailed answer.

I miss feeling like I am part of someone's life outside these four apartment walls.

I want somebody to offer to help me clean or ask my help to cook supper

To include me in decisions, to ask me for advice

To show me that I am important and he/she genuinely cares about me/my life

I miss how my grandma would take care of me when I am sick, be extra nice to me, because she trusts that I will do the same for her

I think that is what this really all is. I just want somebody to love me like I need to be so that I can return that love.

I want a hug

CJ