Is it so hard to ask

For one person in the world to tell me the truth?

To stop saying 'you are perfect the way you are'

I need somebody to say

'CJ, you are vile and lazy. You used to be skinny and pretty. what happened?

Your skin is horrible, your teeth are yellow, you jiggle when you walk

Why can't you wake up early and go to the gym anymore?

Why won't you stick to an eating plan of 500 calories or less?

How about you stop bingeing and then purging? You should stop purging, your teeth are turning brown.

Stop eating, get your lazy ass to the gym and get motivated,

because, CJ, if you don't, you will be fat and disgusting and not happy with yourself for the rest of your miserable life'

Why can't anybody say this to me? Please. That is all I want. I need to know I am not alone, I am not the only one thinking this. My bmi is 18.3 after my vacation and I need to get my ass in gear

but if nobody sees or admits a difference if my boyfriend loves me anyway, what is the point of caring.

I need to rediscover why I am doing this to body, and start to see some fucking results.

the comments are allowed again, because I feel really lonely.

CJ