Long as a japanese sword-selling Chinaman's beard

this is going to be a really long post and I apologize in advance.
There are three things in my brain right now: weight control, school and my boyfriend.

1) Weight Control:
I just saw a picture of me on facebook. And i Look so fucking fat. I haven't eaten since monday. I will not eat until I get my scale back, which is friday. I am going insane without it right now. I don't have the time to go to the gym after school because I have to do homework and I don't have the energy to get up at 5 this week to go to the gym beforehand due the fasting.
My bf and I are visiting his family in manitoba saturday-thursday, and I am not allowed to bring my scale and they probably have tons of food. "Sweetie, your girlfriend sure does go to the bathroom a lot after supper and she drinks a lot of water. She didn't want to eat any of my homebaked cookies." YA. I'm apparently going to be that fucking girlfriend.
recap: boyfriend<=weightloss
2)School:
I really need to quit. Or go to school more. I just get so effing depressed and don't leave my cave of solitude (ie basement) And when I go to class, I' actually quite smart, and catch up, but it takes all my time. If i weren't so sad and messed up, I would have been done school two years ago. My boyfriend has date a nineteen year old highschooler. How embarrassing for him. I'm embarrassed too and tell everybody I'm just upgrading all my stuff and converting it to real french so I can go to university in all french (that part is true). If I can ever go to fucking class.
recap: depression=missed classes=mad catch up=bad marks=no university=skinny + dead cj
go to school=good grades=francophone university=skinny + happy cj

3)My boyfriend:
He's too good for me. I'm with him because he's and caring and kind and a complete loser at heart, attractive and crazy about me. The problem is that he makes me happy with myself and want to do something with my life and eat and be "healthy" But the second he leaves I get depressed and purge for days on end because I' so disgusted with what I turn into around him. We fight about me not "revealing my feelings" He snoops through my phone and created a fake prettythin account to check up on me because he's concerned. I bet he's somehow found my blog too. The thing that will break us apart is my purging. Who wants to be with a girl who pukes everything she eats up until she blacks out and who won't get help because she enjoys killing her body and being skinny.
recap: boyfriend=reason to live/reason to hate self

I'm going to Chinatown after physics (which I'm obviously not paying attention in) to go buy my little brother a sword for christmas (don't ask, it's a long story...), maybe I'll be overcome with japanese traditional yearning (because the shop and sword is japanese...in chinatown...) and eat some sushi. It's easy to purge and it's not like I'm wearing makeup today anyway.