As short a post as a very short...;)

I need to leave my house. I have sat in bed all day. My basement looks like a party went down, except only coke zero and water were drank. (There is seriously 24 cans of pop and at least 10 water bottles) I want my scale. I feel too fat. I want to puke and cut.

heres the poem: (its very long. and it sucks ha)

Where have you gone

my beautiful girl

my one and only love

You've disappeared into

shadow and dispair

where I dare not follow

The lines on your face

tell no more of happiness

and a joyous life

But instead of fear

longing, and emotions

I cannot recognize

Where have you vanished

my effervescent light

my reason to stay on this earth

Underneath your rage

your layers of lies

are you still even there

Do you cling to your bones

and your toilet bowl

wishing they were instead I

Can you recall the days

of Sunday brunch

when your curves seduced me so

Your hollow eyes have no fire

your lust is gone

for all except perfection

My wonderful love

you fade from the world

a memory wishing to be forgot

You're no longer here;

no body nor spirit

have you succumbed at last

My corpse of a love

I will be always with you

despite my better judgement

Where have you gone

my innocent girl

you are my heart and soul

You're in the ground

with hate and despair

In the grave I watched you build