She who laughs last thinks the slowest

I don't want to purge.

My family made me eat a lean cuisine fettuccini alfredo -400 cals.

I am now in my basement,

I'm pretty sure they left the house

I want to eat everything in sight

I want to purge until I black out

But more than anything,

I want to let my body digest this food and nourish me.

But I'm going to go to the toilet now and puke till there's nothing left

because,

of course,

i'm not in control of my fucking body

**************************************************************

I feel much lighter. Light headed and shaky, but wonderfully empty. Took my vitamins just now-big mistake-and I am queasy as hell. I cannot puke these up or I will suffer far more than I am now.

On another note: In case anybody was wondering, im 5'10 and my cw (as of thursday) is 99+19.6

but it's all fat, no muscle anymore.

Anybody excited for christmas? I sure hope I am not the only person who enjoys carrolling and decorating and spreading good cheer (when I venture out of my cave of solitude)

I haven't slept since monday, I think i'll try to do that now,

as I have nothing else to write. Stay strong butterflies, I love you the way a blogger loves her followers (all four of you <3>