Lucy at the Gym

I have zero energy today

Roommate made tacos last night. I had one

"You don't eat a lot do you" Im eating tacos am I not!

Did not purge yesterday. first day in a a week, I payed for it by going up a pound today.

Trying not to purge anymore ever again, I proposed a deal to the bf:

he comes to the gym with me (if somebody else is there, I am more likely to work extra hard)

we don't go out to eat, we only have healthy food at home (when I'm not home he can order in pizza or whatever but don't leave it round and don't tell me).

In return I promise to only weigh myself every two days (but bloody hell those two days I will weigh a million times) and get down to 102/3 pounds and stop there. (i can stop there right? i can stop there. ...)

We didn't really decide on anything as of yet, but I know what I'm asking him to do is a bigdeal but what I said I would compromise is also. I am sick, he knows this, I will try be less sick though, get down healthier. I just need some fucking support.

Had a shower, supposed to blow dry my hair right after. I am seriously so full of no energy I kaputzed on my bed and can't get up.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go to university and work and I could just stay home, bake for charity, read, be a housewife. we'll see what happens in 10 years.

I want to purge, that always wakes me up.

CJ