Today is not my day

it really isn't.

yesterday went well, things went smooth

i feel like i am losing touch with reality, my memory is slipping

at training we had to eat (always do) made the excuse i don't eat this and that,

so the trainer modified the pizzas and entrées to suit me so i had no excuse

i ate a piece of pizza (189.4 calories per piece, 1136.5 cals for the whole pizza) a teen carrot. three forkfuls of brown rice

1 oz of salmon with yogurt dill sauce, water, oatmeal for breakfast.

I can't puke here, Marcus noticed I did and called me on it

so I am sitting here crying my eyes out trying to use dbt skills to calm myself down, can't puke.

maybe in a plastic bag instead? it is all in my stomach disgusting and potbelly and it feels revolting and im on the floor pulling my hair sucking in my stomach holding my fat wishing it would go away

i cant do this i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant

dear Lord help me

today is not my day

CJ